Jacks House
Snake in a Bag
Mum. Me mum is my mom. Growing up, were not afraid of her. Therefore we drove her half insane with all the crap we did. The fighting, the disappearing, the near death experiences, the dirt bikes in the bed rooms along with the snowmobiles, the stealing of the family car for joy rides, the girl friends, school, the garden snake in the bag, the beer parties...exc. We put her through so much. It's amazing she's able to think today. Her most used line was “Wait until your father gets home.” We didn't care until about 4 o'clock or so. My dad came home at 5 so… lol We needed to suck-up hoping she wouldn't say anything. Usually it worked…she's a softie at heart. Diner was always a stressful time for Johnny and I. Lol
Here's the one time I thought I went too far and killed my mother. The snake in the bag. I was oh…13?, 14?, something like that. I was riding my bike along the highway coming home from Milwaukee when I stopped at a wayside and saw this grass snake. I thought it was cool so I picked it up and placed it in a paper bag I had and brought it home. When I got there my mom was in the bathroom getting ready for work. She worked at a grocery store at the time. I brought the bag into the house and saw she was in the bathroom. I wanted to show her the snake. I knew she would freak but I intended to just open the bag and let her look in. When I knocked on the door and told her I had a surprise for her she told me she was getting dressed for work. I told her to just peek her head out the door then. Well she opened it a crack, looked out and saw the bag, grabbed it and closed the door. All hell let loose then. Hahahahahaha. First there was the “whooping” sounds my mom makes when she really freaks… kinda' mixture of a loud “oh” and a “whoooop”. This was repeated over and over. It's the only sound my mother made for the next 5 minutes. Along with the “whooooping” sounds came the sound of her feet hitting the floor as she ran in place. Our bathroom there was very small. This went on for about a minute. Then the door fly's open and the bag comes flying out back at me and falls to the floor. The door slams and she continues running in place making them “whooping-ooooh” sounds. The snake starts to slither out of the bag. I yell to my mom that the snake just went down the cold air return. I didn't understand just yet how gone my mom was when I said this. lol I hear the click of the door being locked then. Now I'm kinda' worried. I pick up the bag and crinkle it outside the door. She went nuts again. Opps. Now I was getting scared some. She never had done anything like this before. I told her I had the snake back in the bag and was taking it outside. Which I did. I came back and now heard her saying “God” over and over. I knocked lightly and asked her if she was ok. There was a loud pound on the door from her hand hitting it. “How could you!!!???!!!” Ummmm… “Billy!!!! God @%*! IT!!!!” Ummmm…. Then she let out a loud shriek. Said a few more “God @#-* it's” and then started talking to her self about being late for work. I knocked again. She asked me if I had the snake. I said no. She wanted to know where it was. I told her I let it go outside. She wanted to know where. I told her in the strawberry patch. She never weeded, pick or worked on the strawberries again.
When she opened the door she just opened it a crack, peering out at me with this insane look, not trusting me. Slowly the door opened some more, she eyeballed me some more. I told her I was sorry. I didn't know she didn't like snakes. She took a deep breath, opened the door, walked past me saying she was late for work. But her hair was a mess and she didn't have on her makeup. My mother never goes outside without makeup on but here she was going to work without it. That's what got me really scared. Lol She walked out the door at 3 o'clock. It's a 10 minute walk and she needed to be there at 3.
I was so scared that when my dad got home at 5 I did something I have never done before and have never done since…I squealed on myself. Lol He just looked at me and said “What the hell did you do that for??” to which I replied “I don't know” Hahahaha. My mother worked until 9pm and usually is home at 9:15. I made damm sure I was in bed sleeping by 9.
Woke up the next day…I was all nice to her…she just looked at me and asked “How could you??” to which I replied with another “I don't know”. Lol
To this day, when ever I bring up the snake in the bag thing, I get the same exact look. Lol